Have you ever loaned a friend or family member some cash, only never to see it again? Oh, and one more thing – the relationship took a major dive soon after you handed over the dough 🙁
At the time of the loan, the air was full of sincerity and goodwill. There may have even been tears of appreciation. Your heart melted directly into your wallet to loosen up and extricate a few large bills. All this, while a distant vision of your C-notes flaming up in smoke haunted you.
The promise of repayment seemed legit, but days, weeks and then months went by with no word of repayment. In fact, the relationship changed. There became less of a connection, no eye contact, avoidance, embarrassment, and even resentment.
There’s always an alternative….
Don’t Do It
- If your own financial situation is dicey and you don’t have the money to spare, don’t do it. There’s basic wisdom out there that says, ‘If you can’t take care of yourself first, you can’t take care of anyone else.’ Do you recall the airplane emergency rules? ‘Put on your own oxygen mask first, then help your children with theirs.’
- If your intuition already knows that the relationship will deteriorate with this loan, don’t do it.
- If the loan recipient is a capable, yet entitled couch potato who blows money, don’t do it.
- If the person requesting money is guilting you into it…with the “you don’t love me” thing when you really can’t afford it, NOT COOL. Don’t do it. Get creative with an alternative type of support to show some love. Then send them to a Dave Ramsey class for a whoopin’. 😉
Debt Collection Methods
So what if you are in the process of getting stiffed? A kind, yet clear, request for repayment can work very well. It’s all about your tone.
Try the following verbal approaches to get back your cash:
- “Did you know that money can actually strengthen a relationship if it’s handled well between two people? Your repayment of $2000 will seal the trust, accountablity, dependability and love that we have.”
- “Are you okay with your landlord now? Do you think you can pay me back that $800 like you said you would?”
- “Hey, how’s your new job going? Can you pay me back the $100 before you get your new iPhone 6S?”
- “Let’s make sure we don’t wreck our friendship over a loan like the financial experts say always happens. Can you please pay me now per our contract?”
- “I love you. Do you love me? Pay me back.”
- Add this to any of the above love relationship scenarios if you’re feeling extra spunky. “And if you give me a little somethin’ somethin’ on top of that for my patience, well, I just may have an extra special treat for you.” 😉
There is always the direct and no-nonsense method used by the featured blog pooch who states his demand succinctly. “Give. Me. The. Money. Now.”
You could even fancy that up with a little Tom Cruise theatrics from his famous Oprah appearance and his hit “Jerry Maguire.” You would jump up and down on a couch and scream at the top of your lungs, “Show. Me. The. Moooooney!!” You should at least get immediate partial payment with this method. If you videotape it and get it on YouTube, you may very well get immediate full payment.
Let’s get serious again, peeps. There are rules spelled out by the Federal Trade Commission specifying that debt collectors may not use abusive, unfair or deceptive practices. Although the Fair Debt Collection Practices Act is intended to be specifically for professional debt collectors, the Dogz recommend that you follow those guidelines for good measure.
Loaning money to a friend or family member can strain and even jeopardize your relationship. It can also be a positive experience if you manage your own expectations while communicating clearly to the recipient their responsibilities that come with receiving the loan….. meaning EXACTLY WHEN they need to pay back THE FULL AMOUNT.
If you can afford to loan money and you aren’t contributing to some dysfunction such as co-dependency, there is another approach to maintain your peace of mind. Don’t expect a repayment. If they do pay you back…fantastic. If they don’t…..meh, or in other words, screw it.
Do what’s right for yourself and the situation at hand. Get creative and find an opportunity to help strengthen the relationship and your loved one with the ability to better handle life’s challenges.
Peace and Love~~